Did You Get
by BoxOfScraps
Summary: That THING I Sent You?


Phil Ken Sebben, owner of the law firm, sat at his desk, drinking what appeared to be brandy. He quickly went for the intercom device, but due to his eye-patch blindness, his hand hit just next to it. "Darn it." He tried again, and failed. "Darn it." One more time... "Almost there." He missed another time. "I'll get my finger there on there eventually." And with that he made it. "Ha ha! Fingering. Birdman, get in here!" Moments later, Harvey Birdman entered the office and Phil stood up...pants-less. "Birdman, thank God you're here. Have a seat." He said as Harvey approached the table that Phil pointed to, another case of eye patch vision fail. He realized his and sat in the chair. "Good! Now, what did I call you in for again..."

"Uh...might it have to do with the Flintsone case, sir?" Birdman asked as he adjusted his position, his giant wings making him uncomfortable in the chair for some reason. "Is this a new chair, sir?"

"Why yes! Made out the finest bear fur I could hunt, shoot and skin myself! And all it took was a picnic basket, who knew!" Phil chucked some hats and a tie into the trash can and clapped his hands.

"Um...I believe those were former clients, sir...though this is comfy, the fur is so soft."

"Ha ha! Under area maintenance." Sebben pushed a button on the wall and it rotated around to reveal a rack of pants. "Hmm..assless chaps or slacks..." He chose the slacks and the wall rotated back around. "Anyway, Birdman, I think what I wanted to say was...keep up the good work!"

Birdman and Sebben stared at each other for a minute before Harvey got up and left.

"Awkward moment!" Sebben shouted.

And then the transition screen took place, now seeing Harvey in court, Tom the cat sitting there in a full body cast in his area, and Jerry sitting in the other, laughing at Tom's misfortune.

Mentok the Mindtaker hovered in from the doors and landed on top of the Judge...desk cross-legged. "All rise, all sit and all shut the hell up!" He shouted as his brain-gavel appeared next to him. "Why is there a cat in a body cast...never mind, just talk!" He back-flipped into his chair and watched as things started up.

"Your honor, my client Tom is innocent." Harvey stated as he stood up, and then sat down once he was finished.

Mentok blinked a few times, and then waved the gavel at him. "I think you're supposed to say more things, you know."

"Oh, right." Harvey quickly pulled out the script for the episode and then tossed it away when he was ready. "Sir, my client here is innocent, as I've said. As you can clearly see...he is a cat."

"I got that from the cat shaped cast, yes." A rubber duck appeared next to Mentok, and he played with it briefly.

"Well, cats eat mice...so the point, sir, is that Tom is simply a pussy cat who wanted a good meal."

Phil popped out from under Mentok's desk and smiled. "Ha ha! Vagina slang!" He lowered himself again, doing who-knows-what down there.

"Bird boy has a point, but now let's here from the...other...guy." Mentok waved his gavel at Jerry, and then a pie appeared next to him. Phil grabbed a piece quickly out from under the desk.

Everyone looked at Jerry, but before he could speak, Myron Reducto stormed over and looked at Jerry. "Look at him! He's so tiny! Imagine if I SHRUNK him! It'd be smaller than you can imagine...BACK OFF!" He shouted to a bailiff who came to get him.

"Right, well, I'm hung over, Phil wants out and my stories are coming on, so-" Mentok slammed his gavel down and it turned into a ham. "Restraining order for the rat, case closed." He disappeared in a poof of smoke.

Phil jumped up and straightened his tie. "Best pie ever. And I'm not talking about this." He raised the piece of pie he grabbed earlier. "Ha ha! Transgender."

Jerry slumped down and his eyes welled up. "Son of a bi-"

Transition to Birdman in his office! His blue bird...thing was perched next to him, on a cell phone. Shaggy, Velma, Daphne (With crutches) and Fred (In a neckbrace) walked into the room, and Harvey immediately stood up.

"Harvey, we have an issue." Fred said, slightly in pain.

"Oh? Well...wait, where's the pooch?" Harvey noticed the missing member quickly, and so did his bird, who was relieved.

"That's why we're here...big boy." Daphne seductively said.

Harvey backed up slowly to prevent getting jumped by the slut, but Peanut was more than happy to get closer.

"Yeah, some asshole killed him, man! He just killed him, it's so bogus, man." Shaggy shouted as he removed a bag of weed from his pocket.

"Uhh..." Harvey said, noticing the drugs.

"Oh, not here?"

"No, hit me up, today's going so slow." Harvey quickly ran over and got some before going back to the point. "Anyway, someone screwed the pooch?"

"Oooh, kinky!" Peanut added as he started to leave the room. Velma quickly uppercut Peanut, knocking him to the ground, taking offense to what he said. "Oooh, kinki_er!_"

"Yes, and we want to take him to court." Fred started to dig through his pockets for something. "We have something from the scene." He pulled out a pair of lace panties from his pocket. "Oh...wait..." He put them back and dug through the other pocket.

Shaggy reached in and took the panties. "I'll take those back, thank you very much."

"Here..." He pulled out a quick sketch. "Velma made this, hoping to get a drawing of him to help aid the arrest of this dick!"

Birdman looked at the drawing, which turned out to be a stick figure with the words 'MAJOR DICK' over his head. "Well, as helpful as this is, it's not enough to win the case. But I have gotten many more reports on this person, if it's who I think it is. His name is..."

Iron Man crashed in through the window and blasted Birdman's bird. "I am Iron Man, and-YOU GUYS!" He shouted as he saw the team standing there. "Why are so many people recurring..." He blasted their asses through the wall and looked at Birdman. "Nice wings."

"Nice guns." Birdman nonchalantly said.

"Yeah, made 'em myself...in a cave...WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!" He fly out the window singing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little _Stark._'

Peter Pottomus walked down the hall and went right past the dead bodies and into the office. He went up to Birdman and stood there for a moment. "Did you get that thing I sent you?"

Phil Ken Sebben popped up in front of the camera. "Ha ha! End of story!"


End file.
